Hit the Muscle

Scene 1. Holly’s office, building management for a downtown high-rise in Columbus, Ohio. HOLLY types while talking on the phone.

HOLLY

Did you check the solenoid? It just doesn’t seem right for two starters to go haywire in a row. [beat] Well, could you have a look at the solenoid, just to humor me? I really appreciate it, Pete. Thanks. [beat] No, as long as you need. My husband and I are carpooling. The commute is quality time. Okay, then. Bye.

HOLLY hangs up and her intercom rings. She continues typing while she talks to LAURIE.

HOLLY

Yes, Laurie?

LAURIE’S VOICE

Mr. Milano’s here.

HOLLY

Great. Send him in.

LAURIE’S VOICE

And Mrs. Green’s on line two. She says her office feels like a rainforest.

HOLLY

Hot, wet, both?

LAURIE’S VOICE

Hot, I think.

HOLLY

Could you do me a favor and take her through setting the thermostat again?

MICHAEL enters, and HOLLY waves to him, not missing a beat with the intercom conversation or the typing.

HOLLY

Remind her not to touch the dial on the right. Thanks. [She hangs up the intercom.]
[to Michael] Hey, babe.

MICHAEL

Hi. I picked up the stuff from Schmitt’s so we wouldn’t have to double back.

HOLLY

Good idea. Thanks. Did the spot come out of my blue shirt?

MICHAEL

Oh, I didn’t look.

HOLLY

I’m sure it did. They never mess up. I just need another minute to finish this contract for Plutonium, that software company.

MICHAEL

They going to move in?

HOLLY resumes typing as she talks.

HOLLY

I certainly hope so, after all this. Now it’s a generator. They called half an hour ago, wanting to know if we could add that to the proposal.

MICHAEL

The power goes out, what, once a year here? Stop being so good at what you do. People will expect too much.

HOLLY

Yeah, well, if it closes the deal—

The intercom beeps, and HOLLY answers it immediately. She continues typing throughout the conversation and call.

HOLLY

Yes?

LAURIE’S VOICE

Sandra again.

HOLLY

Good heavens. Please put her through.

[The call comes through the phone, not the intercom.]

HOLLY

This is Holly Milano. [beat] Hi, Sandra. [beat] I’m sorry to hear that. [beat] You do? But— [beat] Uh huh. Have you been to a doctor? [beat] The Internet. [beat] The thing is that the tap water coming into your office isn’t any different than the water coming into all our offices. We just get it from the city. It’s the same stuff that goes to your house. [beat] Well, that would be something, but don’t you think we would have seen it in the papers? [beat] Maybe you should get your doctor’s opinion before calling them yourself. [beat] Reporters like evidence. [beat] Well, feel better soon, Sandra. Bye-bye.

HOLLY hangs up and types for a moment. MICHAEL checks his watch.

MICHAEL

You know, if you were one of my clients, I’d be billing you at the regular rate.

HOLLY

If you were one of my clients, you’d know that working with me is a package deal. Thirty more seconds, and we can go.

MICHAEL

How about the Grille tonight?

HOLLY

Sure. Or the Brewery.

HOLLY stops typing, and the printer revs up. She starts shutting down her computer and gathering her things.

MICHAEL

Your day’s been that bad?

HOLLY

I like their chicken sandwich. A beer or two wouldn’t hurt, either. I’m not pregnant yet, and even if I was...

MICHAEL

The authorities are now saying the occasional Guinness is fine.

She takes the contract from the printer, places it into a neat folder, and slides the folder into its spot in her briefcase. The intercom beeps again.

HOLLY

I’ll deal with it on the way out. Let’s go.

Scene 2. Holly and Michael’s living room, late Friday evening. HOLLY types on a laptop. MICHAEL sits at his desk, pouring through legal documents.

MICHAEL

You want to rent a movie tonight? I need to put this case aside for a while.

HOLLY

Sure, give me half an hour.

MICHAEL

I’d like to petition the court for some popcorn, too. The defense will establish an abject lack of salt and butter in this household.

HOLLY

I just need to finish this. [She returns to her computer.]

MICHAEL

If you trust me with the video selection, I can just go get it now and be back by the time you’ve wrapped that up.

HOLLY

That would be sweet of you. No more war movies, please.

MICHAEL starts to put on his coat.

MICHAEL

Fine. What about spies?

HOLLY

So long as they’re not war spies. Or Vin Diesel.

HOLLY

Hon, what do you think? For the Rosewood girls, can I jump straight into the chart, like I did for Women in Management? I feel like these girls need some sort of hook, a joke or something for openers.

MICHAEL

You should start off tough—demand their attention.

HOLLY

Nah—

MICHAEL

Ease up later if you want, but you’re volunteering for a reform school, not a social club. You’re dealing with juvenile delinquents.

HOLLY

But they’re still girls.

MICHAEL

Girls with crack habits and custody battles.

HOLLY (angry)

Funny.

MICHAEL

Oh, don’t get mad.

At the risk of sounding like my father, kids are different these days. They really are. Don’t take it personally if they don’t show any gratitude, or attention even. That doesn’t mean it’s not great of you to give them your time.

HOLLY

Yeah, yeah. Go get the movie. No Grisham.

MICHAEL

Yes ma’am.

MICHAEL exits. HOLLY rises from the sofa, pulls on a suit jacket and rehearses her speech.

HOLLY

You need to ask yourself: what’s holding you back? And don’t put the blame on the usual suspects: your parents, your boyfriend, the cops, Ms. Beltram here. Each and every one of you is here because of things you did. And the thing inside you that landed you in here is going to keep screwing you up for the rest of your life unless you get it under control.

HOLLY (continued)

Who the hell am I to say this to you? I’m a Rosewood girl who got out. I got busted at 17, hauled in here—I even told Ms. Beltram to fuck off during my entrance interview. [to “Cheryl” in the imaginary audience] You too, Cheryl? Ms. Beltram still have a killer backhand? I deserved it.

You still have a choice. If you turn it around now, your Rosewood record goes away. You screw up again, and it’s permanent. We’re talking about a completely different set of lifestyle options once you’ve got a record.

Take control now. Sit down. Figure out what’s wrong. Write a list of everything that’s keeping you from what you want in life. Next to each item, write down something that you can do about it. These are your first weekly goals. Chart it out.

HOLLY displays a paper with a grid on it.

It doesn’t take some fancy leather-bound planner to get your life together. All you need is a notebook, a pen, and a ruler. Days of the week go across the top; goals go down the side, like this. Then at the end of each day you check off what you accomplished. You see what you’ve done, and you see what you need to do. Keep your charts, and at the end of the month or the year you can see how far you’ve come. Once you take control of yourself, you can become whoever you want. College degree, good job. You can walk out of here when you turn eighteen and no one ever has to know.

Scene 3. Holly’s office. LISA surfs the Internet, and HOLLY watches over her shoulder.

LISA

Sorry about this. We just need to order a My Beautiful Mermaid and we’re out of here.

HOLLY

You kidding? I’m not so fragile—baby crazy, whatever—that I can’t hack Toys.com.

LISA

Yeah, “fragile” isn’t exactly a word that comes to mind for you.

HOLLY

Thanks. I think.

LISA

No, it’s good. Being a wimp sucks.

HOLLY

Oh, and you’re a wimp?

LISA

Duh.

HOLLY

Hardly.

God, I don’t even recognize most of these things. E-Z Bake ovens now make Shrinky-Dinks? When did that happen?

LISA

Don’t look at me. Jordan’s not old enough for that stuff yet.

HOLLY

Look at this: lingerie Barbie? Tell me that’s not a garter belt.

LISA

You can’t even worry about that stuff until your kid’s old enough to want it. Half of it’ll be totally different by then anyhow.

HOLLY

But what if they only get worse by then?

LISA

Once you’ve got one, you’ll see that you don’t have much time for what-ifs. Where is that mermaid?

HOLLY

Is that really a digital organizer for eight-year-olds? Do you think things were simpler when we were kids? Does asking that make me an old lady?

LISA

Maybe they just seemed simpler because we were kids. And, no, to be an old lady you have to say, “Back in my day...”

HOLLY

Okay, good. Children seem so sophisticated now.

LISA

You were pretty complex when you were their age.

HOLLY

Back then there was always something to be done about that.

LISA

Here we go...Funk-N-Glow Sasha...Stylin’ Salon...Mermaid!

HOLLY

Lisa, when’s the last time you went to church? Not for a wedding or whatever, but for church.

LISA

Christmas Eve. That counts. It’s a full service. Blonde or brunette?

HOLLY

Did you think you’d go more once you had kids? I always thought I would, and honestly, I kind of miss Confession, but when I start to account for parenting time, I just don’t see how getting the family to church could possibly fit into a week.

LISA

Tell me you haven’t tried to chart out one of your weekly plans for after you have a baby.

HOLLY

How else would I know when I could go back to work?

LISA

You'll know. Everything goes out the window. Everything.

HOLLY

I know, everybody says that, and that’s fine. I just needed to know what would theoretically fit into a week.

LISA

I would say you’re nuts, but obviously it works for you. Do these parts look too small for Jordan, like that necklace? Think it could break apart?

HOLLY

Just swipe the necklace before giving it to her. My mom did that sort of stuff all the time. Took the guns from my Lone Ranger and Tonto and convinced me they became pacifists. Boy did I feel betrayed when I found them in the back of a closet.

LISA

Good idea.

HOLLY

We had to go through everything before we could sell the house, while Amy and Craig were still in town. Deciding what we wanted to keep, what Jackie’s kids could use for their dorm rooms, what goes to the Salvation Army. When we found this shoebox way up by itself in the guest room closet, we thought we had something big all right, family heirlooms, or at least the will. Pop it open and the thing is full of tiny toy parts: the Lone Ranger guns, Barbie jewelry, a ton of Star Wars weapons, a bunch of little plastic pieces my sisters and I didn’t even know what they came from.

LISA

I was just going to throw the necklace away.

HOLLY

I don’t know why, but I was furious when I saw it. Not just disappointed that it wasn’t anything important, but really mad. Why would she keep junk like that?

Scene 4. HOLLY sits in what should be a comfortable chair in a psychiatrist's office.

HOLLY

No disrespect, but I just don’t see where this “maybe” stuff is going to do anything. And it’s not like psychology deals in absolutes. I’m sure that for some people, this is their only chance to get things off their chest, and they need this, but I’ve got plenty of people I can talk to if I want to. And I’m not—I don’t really need more.

So Dr. Fitzgerald thinks it could just be stress. Sounds like bullshit to me, but I hope she’s right. And it’s not like I have any better suggestions.

HOLLY (continued)

I’m supposed to just talk, right? Well, it's going to have to be more than that. I need something I can do. You know, some exercises for stress. Managing it or whatever you call it these days. Like keeping the road rage down. I mean, sure, I’d rather not freak out every time I’m in a traffic jam, but how do you not get mad when some jerk cuts you off? Before you write that down, you should know it’s not like road rage, the headline kind: I’m not going to actually do anything. But I guess it could be doing something to me.

Let’s just ignore the fact that what Dr. Fitzgerald is saying can’t really be true. If worrying kept you from getting knocked up, then most of us wouldn’t be here, would we?

The thing is that I’m not a calm person. I just don’t really chill. Ever. “Plenty of time to chill in the grave,” that’s what my mother used to say, in between carpool and running back to the office or wherever she went. Wait, there’s no way Mom would have said “chill,” although I like the sound of “chill in the grave,” with that pun thing going for it. Gotta be cold in there.

But she did get a lot done in the time she had. And it’s not like she really had a choice. If she didn't do everything, nothing would have happened.

Scene 5. Holly’s living room. Vials and syringes are assembled on the coffee table. HOLLY tries not to watch as LISA injects the contents of a syringe into a plastic vial.

LISA

Now we inject this into the final vial and shake for sixty seconds. [She pulls out the syringe and starts shaking the vial.] Got that?

HOLLY

Uh huh.

LISA

So what did she say?

HOLLY

Waste of time.

LISA

She said that?

HOLLY

No, she said just about nothing. You pay someone by the freaking hour, you expect a little more than “I think you’re opening up. See you next week.”

LISA

So you talked.

HOLLY

Yeah. Like an idiot. I’d wait for her to say something—shrinks are supposed to, you know, give advice—but she’d just stare at me so I’d start talking again. Total bullshit.

LISA

So it didn’t make you feel any better.

HOLLY

No.

LISA

Huh.

HOLLY

What?

LISA

No, nothing. I mean, you’d think that for a hundred bucks you’d feel something.

HOLLY

Who in the hell gets a degree butting into other people’s business? Who figures they’ve got it so together they should start fixing other people’s shit? Just wanting to be a shrink should disqualify you from being allowed to do it.

LISA

Maybe you have to go a few times before it kicks in.

HOLLY

Like smoking pot.

LISA

I guess.

LISA stops shaking the vial and injects a second syringe into it.

LISA

Now, we draw the fluid into the syringe. [She pulls the syringe from the vial and holds it needle-up.] Then turn it upside down, like this, and squeeze the air out. Easy, right, just like you're on E.R. Are you watching?

HOLLY

It’s just so...big.

LISA

This is nothing. You should see some of the syringes we use to—

HOLLY

Don’t tell me! This is bad enough.

LISA

You have to pay attention here. This is important. Hold it upside down and push until a drop comes out. That way all the air is out—see?

HOLLY

Don’t worry, I trust you.

LISA

You should know how to do this yourself. The timing’s really important on Pergonal injections. If Michael’s late getting home one day—

HOLLY

Then I’ll call you.

LISA

But—

HOLLY

I just can’t look at the needle right now, okay?

LISA

Okay. We’ll work on the self-injection later.

Alrighty, show me a little thigh.

LISA puts rubbing alcohol on a cotton swab. HOLLY starts to give in, lifting her leg to a chair and pulling her skirt up.

HOLLY

I hate this. Okay. Wait— [She drops the skirt and steps back.] Maybe it's just not meant to be, you know? Or maybe they make this stuff in pill form, but my doctor just didn't know about it.

LISA

Nope.

HOLLY

But why does it have to be a shot?

LISA

Your stomach acid screws up the drugs. Leg.

HOLLY doesn't budge.

LISA

You know, a little pinprick is nothing compared to the stuff you’ll deal with once you’re a mom.

HOLLY

This is a legitimate phobia.

LISA

Did the psychiatrist tell you that?

HOLLY

I’m seeing her for stress.

LISA

Right. And she had nothing helpful to say?

HOLLY

She wants me to do visualization exercise thingies.

LISA

You know, I found this ancient fertility ritual—

HOLLY

You’re not going to catch me performing some Moon Goddess aromatherapy...

LISA

Wait, hear me out. It was in Grummond’s Encyclopedia of Infertility, which is one of the best resources out there. And if it worked for people centuries ago, why not for you?

HOLLY

Because it didn’t work centuries ago. People were just gullible back then.

LISA

You need a way to tell your body it’s time to get going.

HOLLY

Shouldn’t these drugs do that?

LISA

Exactly. This whole procedure is half ritual anyhow. What can it hurt to add a spiritual element to it?

HOLLY

It’s idiotic.

LISA

You just repeat a couple of lines to focus your energy. There are all sorts of studies that show that positive visualization helps with just about every condition.

HOLLY

And you’ve seen these studies? In a journal or something?

LISA

I’ve never seen one that proved that visualization didn’t work.

HOLLY

I just say a couple of lines? That’s it?

LISA

And then you jump over a broomstick.

HOLLY

Oh, sure, and then I fly off to a cave somewhere.

LISA

You don’t ride it. You jump it.

HOLLY

No way.

LISA

It’s symbolic. And it gives you a focus point for actualization. Get those follicles humming.

HOLLY

That’s exactly the sort of shit I don’t want—I am not talking about, or to, any of my body parts in any sort of cutesy anything.

LISA

No one’s asking you to. But the bottom line, Holly, is that the more visualization you do, the less of these [she holds up the syringe] you’re going to need.

HOLLY

What, am I going to have to take off my clothes and dance around the kitchen?

Scene 6. HOLLY and MICHAEL in their living room.

HOLLY

I don’t know, aren’t plastic cups inherently tacky?

MICHAEL

It’s a barbecue.

HOLLY

But it still has to be nice. We want to raise as much money as we can. We go too high-end and there’s not enough profit to give to the school, but if we go too low-end, nobody will come back next year, and we screw the girls that way.

MICHAEL

I think plastic cups will be fine.

HOLLY

For everything?

MICHAEL

Sure. Think of it as a tribute to your Southern Comfort days.

HOLLY

What do you mean?

MICHAEL

I’m sure even a classy lady like you drank the cheap stuff in college.

HOLLY

What are you getting at?

MICHAEL

My freshman year we all believed—without just cause—that it was illegal for RAs to check the contents of a plastic cup for alcohol. And since half the point of being a freshman is drinking, everybody had the same plastic cups at every party. Before you got someone to buy the liquor for you, you made sure you had the red cups to hold it.

HOLLY

So tacky plastic cups will be a trip down memory lane.

MICHAEL

Or at least fitting for a reform school fundraiser. I’d wager the Rosewood girls know more than me about hard liquor.

HOLLY

Now there’s hypocrisy for you.

MICHAEL

Oh, please.

HOLLY

Less than fifteen seconds to go from bragging about your underage drinking to sneering at someone else’s.

MICHAEL

It’s completely different, and you know it.

HOLLY

Because you were a boy?

MICHAEL

Because I was eighteen, old enough to be drafted. Because the alcohol was purchased, not shoplifted, with money I earned at a job, a real job. Because it stopped with drinking and didn’t progress to narcotics. And most importantly, because drinking was never an excuse for doing God knows what else with my “gangsta” friends.

HOLLY

You have no idea—

MICHAEL

You have no idea how it is with most kids like that these days. Look, I know your heart is in the right place, but let me tell you. Case after case, you think maybe this time the kid’s been set up or given a harsh deal or something. So you meet with them in the hopes that they can give you something to work with, and all they have to say for themselves is, “I was wasted.”

Still, it’s your job to defend them, to keep them out of places like Rosewood. “I’m sorry, your Honor, but my client was high and therefore not accountable for her actions. Please don’t send her somewhere where she’ll have to detox and think about what she’s done.”

HOLLY

You have no idea what it’s like for them. Did you ever fall out with your family, try to make it on your own? Those girls need help, not your judgment.

MICHAEL

Judgment is the only thing that will get them help.

HOLLY

Do you have any idea how condescending you’re being right now?

MICHAEL

What is it with Rosewood all of a sudden, anyhow? Did something happen last week?

HOLLY

No. You know, it’s not just kids from the inner city that end up in trouble.

MICHAEL

Come here. [He puts his arms around her.] Don’t worry. No daughter of ours will end up in the custody of the state. And that goes double if we have a son.

Scene: 7. Holly’s living room. Again, LISA injects the contents of a syringe into a plastic vial. This time, HOLLY takes extensive notes.

HOLLY

Shake for sixty seconds.

LISA

Wanna try it?

HOLLY

I’m writing.

LISA

Okay.

HOLLY

Any particular kind of shaking? Circular? Side-to-side?

LISA

Nah, you just shake.

HOLLY

Got it. So, I’ve been reading as much as I can, but there’s nothing useful out there.

LISA

There can be so many reasons for fertility issues, it’s so individual. Most people, even if they’ve had children, never know exactly why it didn’t happen for a while there.

HOLLY

But they have to know, scientifically, about some things. Like there must be injuries or conditions that ruin your odds of conceiving.

LISA

Physical barrier type stuff, sure.

HOLLY

Or what about chemicals? Can taking certain drugs, maybe in your formative years...

LISA

Are you worried about that?

HOLLY

Can’t that junk warp your eggs or something?

LISA

Why, what did you take? I mean, probably not, no matter what it was. Drugs can do crazy things to a fetus, but plenty of addicts have babies, even while they’re using.

HOLLY

But isn’t there a chance you could mess up something in there, something that doesn’t show up?

LISA

Not much of one.

HOLLY

And I was never an addict. I was just a little rebellious, that’s all.

LISA

It’s not something you should worry about. It usually takes years of substance abuse to start damaging organs. A little phase when you were 16 probably isn’t going to do anything.

Now, you’re going to do this next part. Cotton swab. Rubbing alcohol. Clean off a couple of square inches.

HOLLY finishes writing this down, and reaches for the rubbing alcohol.

HOLLY

It was just a phase.

LISA

Yeah, when you got back from that winter at your aunt’s, you were a different person.

HOLLY (rubbing alcohol on her leg)

I just needed some time away from my family, is all.

Okay, hit me.

LISA brings the syringe to HOLLY’s leg. As LISA injects, HOLLY is clearly nauseated at the sight of it, but doesn’t look away except to write notes.

LISA

Needle goes into the leg, like this. And squeeze it slowly in. You okay?

HOLLY

Yeah. How—how deep was that?

LISA

Inch and a half. You have to hit the muscle.

HOLLY writes this down.

LISA

Holly, you didn’t, I mean, at your aunt’s, you weren’t there to have a baby, were you?

HOLLY (relieved)

Oh, no, nothing like that. Can you imagine how freaked out I’d be now if that was the case? I’m a bundle of nerves as it is... I seriously just needed a break, and Mom needed a break from me. You know how kids are, needing to rebel somehow. Mom was such an overachiever, so I was a burnout. Like I was having fun for the both of us.

While I was gone I figured out how to get my act together. The girls in that school—where my aunt lived—were all such screw-ups, destined for pathetic loser lives. I knew I didn’t want to be like that, but I was just like them. So I changed.

LISA

Maybe I need to take lessons from you.

Scene 8. HOLLY, in her office, speaks on the phone.

HOLLY

I don’t understand how this happened. You come out every month to prevent— [beat] So there were no signs two weeks ago? [beat] I find that hard to believe. The first and second floors are overrun. You think they found the building and set up shop sometime last week? Someone propped a door open for too long and a rat parade just marched in? [beat] Uh huh. Well, how soon can you get here? [beat] Okay. We’ll talk then.

She hangs up and dials.

HOLLY

Bill? Holly Milano. The exterminators are on their way. [beat] Why don’t we set you up in suite 760 until this is cleared up? I’ll have Harry help you move whatever you need for the next few days up there. [beat] They should have an estimate by the end of the day, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do. They have to check for problems on the other floors. [Another beat, and HOLLY slides the newspaper to within viewing range as she talks.] No, of course we’ll get yours done as quickly as possible, but they have to have a look before they can give me a date. No sense in chasing the things up and down the stairs. [beat, still skimming the paper] The seventh floor is fine, as far as— [She sees something alarming in the paper.] Oh, good Lord. No, sorry, I, uh, just remembered another appointment. I’ll send those keys up with Harry, okay? Bye.

She hangs up and reads the newspaper article.

HOLLY

Jesus.

She dials the phone.

HOLLY

Mike. It’s me. I’ve just had a shock. The Dispatch, it says that Ms. Beltram, the head counselor at Rosewood, she was killed last night. One of the girls was trying to run away with her boyfriend and—it’s too awful. [beat] Well, she just seemed like such a nice woman. I mean, she was tough, but she was—she must have been like a second mother to so many of those girls. She was just so—How could someone...Jesus. [beat] No, no, I’m okay. I just kind of flipped when I read it, that’s all. Mike, she was a really great lady. [beat] Yeah, maybe I will do that. It’s a good idea. [beat] Yeah. Well, I’ll let you get back to work. It just kind of flipped me out, that’s all. [beat] Okay. I love you, too.

HOLLY hangs up and her intercom rings.

HOLLY

Yeah, Laurie?

LAURIE’S VOICE

Sorry, I know you’re swamped with the you-know-whats, but Pete from Wheeler’s just called to say your car’s ready and you can pick it up anytime before 5:30 tonight.

HOLLY

Thanks. Laurie, could you call Rosewood school and find out if they have any information on a funeral or memorial service for Ms. Beltram—B-E-L-T-R-A-M—their head counselor?

LAURIE’S VOICE

Rosewood, the girls’, um, school?

HOLLY

Yes. I’ve been doing some volunteer work there.

LAURIE’S VOICE

No problem. I’ll let you know what I find out. Also, Sandra heard about the rats. I think I calmed her down, but you never know.

HOLLY

Thanks, Laurie. Keep me posted.

HOLLY disconnects the intercom and puts her head down on her desk. After a moment, the intercom beeps again.

LAURIE’S VOICE

I have a Dr. Thompson on the line for you.

HOLLY

Okay, thanks.

HOLLY takes the call.

HOLLY

Dr. Thompson. We’re still on for tomorrow afternoon? [beat] Oh, I see. [beat] No, that’s fine. I’ll just work on the visualization in the meantime. [beat] No, really, nothing major’s happening here. Same old, same old. [beat] Okay. In two weeks, then.

Scene 9. HOLLY and MICHAEL in their living room. MICHAEL sorts papers at his desk, and HOLLY pushes the Pergonal kit around the dining table with her finger. MICHAEL gets up from his desk and joins HOLLY at the table.

MICHAEL

It’s Dr. Kildare time.

HOLLY hands him several pages of handwritten notes, stapled together.

HOLLY

These are the instructions.

MICHAEL (flipping through the pages)

So it’s an easy procedure.

HOLLY

I was very thorough with the notes. Didn’t want to miss anything.

MICHAEL skims the notes through the next lines.

MICHAEL

Okay, looks like this boils down to mixing and injecting.

HOLLY

I can help with the mixing part. Now that I’ve seen it a few times.

MICHAEL

But I’m on my own with the injection.

HOLLY

Well, obviously I’ll still be here, but... I’ll just try not to interfere.

MICHAEL

I’m going to need a little clarification on “interfere.”

HOLLY

Lisa pretty much had to chase me around the room the first time.

MICHAEL

Great.

HOLLY

I think I’m past that now. Just don’t freak me out with the needle.

MICHAEL

Okay. First off, we open the kit. [He opens the box and tries to sort through the vials and syringes inside.] I see why you took all those notes. Okay, this must be the dilution stuff, and the powder... What does all this cost, anyhow?

HOLLY (defensive)

A hundred and thirty-five. It’s about $1500 a cycle. We talked about this before, and you were okay with it—

MICHAEL

Whoa! I wasn’t saying that the money’s a problem.

HOLLY

But it’s not just $1500. God knows how many times we might have to do this.

MICHAEL

We’re fine. I was just asking out of curiosity. So many parts, a very intricate drug, little widgets have to cost something. It’s okay, though. Okay?

HOLLY

Okay.

MICHAEL

Now, why don’t you break open the vial and clean the top with an alcohol swab while I set up the syringe. Okay, where’s the mixing needle?

HOLLY (pointing to it)

That one.

MICHAEL

And that other long one is for the...

HOLLY

Yep.

MICHAEL

No wonder you hate this. I’d be a little edgy, too. But it’s all okay. Okay, dilution—

HOLLY

Diluent. It’s called diluent.

MICHAEL

Is there a difference?

HOLLY

No idea. That’s just the term. Sorry.

MICHAEL

Okay, one milliliter of diluent. Into the powder. And shake for sixty seconds. “Side-to-side, circular, or up-and-down; it doesn’t matter.” Good notes.

HOLLY

I tried. I’ll clean off the injection site. I’m becoming a pro with the rubbing alcohol.

MICHAEL

Now that’s a Mom skill if I ever saw one. Except in my mom’s case it would have to be iodine.

HOLLY

Nasty stuff! Shannon Stewart’s mom left no cut untreated. You didn’t even have to be her kid. And that woman could smell blood from the other end of the block.

MICHAEL

Okay, now I switch the needles.

HOLLY

You sure that was sixty seconds?

MICHAEL

You want me to shake it some more?

HOLLY

Did you time it or not? This has to be precise.

MICHAEL

I’ll do another 20 seconds, just to be sure, okay?

Silence, as MICHAEL shakes the vial more, staring at his watch. After twenty seconds, he draws the solution into the syringe and switches needles. Following the directions, he taps the syringe

MICHAEL

You all swabbed?

HOLLY

Yeah.

MICHAEL brings the syringe to her thigh, but balks at sticking her with it.

MICHAEL

I don’t know if I can do this, break the skin.

HOLLY

Oh, God.

MICHAEL

I’ve never been squeamish about this sort of thing, but you’re—I don’t want to hurt you.

HOLLY

It won’t hurt. Okay, that’s a lie, but it’ll be okay.

MICHAEL

Okay. I can do this.

He closes in on her thigh again, but slowly backs off.

MICHAEL

Maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.

HOLLY

You’re having second thoughts?

MICHAEL

No, no. It’s just the needle.

HOLLY

Oh, really?

MICHAEL sets the syringe down and steps back.

MICHAEL

I am a little unclear on what having a baby will mean to my life—and no, I'm not talking about the joy and the love and all of that—but frankly I imagine that mainly it'll be your day-to-day, hour-to-hour life that's different.

HOLLY

Because this will be your child, too.

MICHAEL

And I want to do as much as I can. I know that. But given that you’re the one planning to take a couple of years off work... For example, I don't see how my nine o'clock nights at the firm change with two people waiting at home instead of just one. I don’t know what it means to have part of your life change dramatically while another part stays the same. Can you have a partly new life?

HOLLY

Do you even want this?

MICHAEL

Sure I do. I've always wanted to have kids. I’m just waxing philosophical.

HOLLY

Uh huh.

MICHAEL

I just don’t feel the particular pressure that you do now.

HOLLY

No particular pressure except for me.

MICHAEL

Well, yeah.

HOLLY

Because, biologically speaking, you could always go out and spawn with Phil’s receptionist.

MICHAEL

Because we could always consider other options, donor eggs or whatever they do. But there's no need to panic. For either of us to panic. It’s going to be okay.

Assuming I can get it together to jab you with this needle. Not jab. Administer the injection.

HOLLY

Just fucking do it, Michael.

MICHAEL

You’re sure you can’t do it yourself? I think I could stick myself.

HOLLY

Yes, I’m sure. I’ve never been able to handle needles. Not when I was a kid, and sure as hell not now. You ever seen an injection site gone bad, you’ll know why I can’t take this shit.

MICHAEL

A kid?

HOLLY

Teenager, whatever.

MICHAEL

You mean, like getting vaccinated?

HOLLY

Sure. I always had to look away at the doctor’s office. Couldn’t think about it.

MICHAEL

A doctor can mess these up, and I’m supposed to do it?

HOLLY

Totally different. My friend, Janet, with the infected arm, she’d had lots of injections. We’ve cleaned everything properly, and I don’t think she’d done that. No, I’m sure she hadn’t. She was just a kid.

MICHAEL

She was injecting herself?

HOLLY

She didn’t know what she was doing.

MICHAEL

She had to give herself insulin or something.

HOLLY

No, Michael. She did not.

MICHAEL

A friend of yours.

HOLLY

My only friend.

MICHAEL

Must have been scary for you, having a friend like that.

HOLLY

Michael, I can’t even tell you.

MICHAEL steps back and sets the syringe on the table.

MICHAEL

Obviously not.

HOLLY

No.

MICHAEL

I mean, I never thought you were the type to associate—

HOLLY

“Associate.” Michael.

MICHAEL

Jesus. I don’t believe this. I mean, I knew you were kind of a tough girl but—

Have you even been—tested?

HOLLY

Of course. What the hell—I knew you wouldn’t understand.

MICHAEL

Well, you’re right on that one. Generally, the marriage contract is entered with both parties acting in good faith.

HOLLY

Oh, great, the lawyer bullshit. Look, I haven’t lied to you.

MICHAEL

What else aren’t you telling me? Do you have a record?

HOLLY

Christ.

MICHAEL

I can’t have this—I should not have to cross-examine my own wife.

HOLLY

Go ahead, lump me in with your pro-bono loser clients. You already know so fucking much, why would you have to hear my side?

MICHAEL

Okay, what? I’m listening. Tell me.

HOLLY

Fuck you.

HOLLY grabs the syringe and injects herself. MICHAEL storms out.

Scene 10. HOLLY speaks to the Rosewood girls.

HOLLY

I didn’t think I’d be addressing you under these circumstances. Mrs. Beltram was an amazing woman, solid. So many people are going to miss her. But she was devoted to Rosewood and she thought I could let you girls in on a few secrets of success—she just wanted her girls to be successful—so here goes.

You need to ask yourself: what’s holding you back? And don’t put the blame on the usual suspects: your parents, your boyfriend, the cops— Uh— Each and every one of you is here because of things you did.

She puts her notes aside.

HOLLY (continued)

But you sit there and blame everyone but yourself. "My home life is hard." "My friends made me do it." Landing in Rosewood should have been a wakeup call, but you didn't hear it. You flatter yourself thinking you can escape real punishment; otherwise you wouldn't be sitting there smirking at me. But this bullshit—restricted visiting hours, those ugly uniforms, lights out at 9:30—is nothing compared to the hell that you're in for when you go back to your junkie "gangsta" friends and fuck up as a legal adult.

So maybe you think the other girls here are heading for that, but not you. You think you can change. When you’re ready, you’re going to get it together. Maybe you can.

But do you have any idea what the odds are against you? Most everybody in this room’s got nothing but addiction and jail in her future. Maybe one of you might get out. Do you have any chance at being that lucky one?

Yeah, maybe. The thing is, people with all kinds of shit you don’t have still fuck up big time. And who are you? Face it: you’re pathetic. You’re lazy. Sloppy. Trash. You can’t escape who you are, so don’t even try.

HOLLY hesitates. Blackout.

END OF PLAY

Hit the Muscle

Setting

Characters

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